I'm a Senior, and I'm Okay

Only a couple of weeks ago, I was shopping for the perfect graduation dress. Should I go with white or black? White really makes the Carolina blue pop, but everyone goes with white. These were the largest concerns that I had. Now I have been forced to grapple with a world-altering event just before some of my life's defining moments. 

I remember my high school graduation like it was yesterday. I was supposed to speak and I spent hours going over my very own address. My gown was wrinkle free and hanging on the back of my door. I had my many medals and cords--not bragging, I actually got one just for being in chorus--draped lovingly on my dresser. This was supposed to be my day. A day I would remember for the rest of my life. 

The reality was different from the hat throwing scene on poorly written teen shows. It was not good and not bad, just different. It was incredibly hot and I had sweat pouring from my face. The school cafeteria where we gathered was loud and stuffy. All of the esteemed graduates were being quieted as though we weren't about to say good-bye to a constant in our lives. I haven't seen some of my fellow graduates since that day, and we weren't allowed to share in our excitement. When we finally began walking, my stomach was aflutter with the nerves I had built up over a month of anticipation. 

I spoke first and it went by in a blur (little did I know my younger sister would later get credit for speaking in the town newspaper). I sat down and listened to more speeches, songs from my classmates and an inspiring, albeit belabored, speech from my principal. When it was all over I forgot to throw my hat. The day did not live up to my exact specifications and I was honestly disappointed. 

Now, as a soon-to-be graduate of UNC-CH, I will no longer have the picture-perfect graduation ceremony. But would I have had that without COVID-19? I doubt it. Something would have happened to ruin the carefully constructed scene I had created in my mind. Nothing ever happens exactly as we plan it. I think this graduation will actually be more special than any in recent years. Am I crazy? I don't think so. 

One of my professors encouraged us to remember that this situation would gift the Class of 2020 with an unbreakable bond. We are the class of COVID-19. If anything, we have worked harder to achieve our goals. Yes, I am upset that my parents won't get to see me cross the stage and shake the hand of some unknown university official. Yes, I am sad that I won't get to attend my fraternity formal. And yes, I am crushed that I won't get to participate in another finals season. Wait, maybe not. However, I am excited to move on to the next stage in my life. Anything that happens now is a pleasant surprise.